You may not see it. You may not be aware of it. You may not even have a name for it.
But chances are, you have experienced the upper limits problem numerous times.
It’s a term coined by psychologist Gay Hendricks in The Big Leap. The upper limits problem is a paradoxical pattern: when we start to feel good inside, we unconsciously sabotage ourselves so we can go back to feeling bad again.
Upper limits can be difficult to see in action because they run counter to our ordinary logic about life. We think that feeling bad – pain, tension, anxiety, and conflict – is ...
Have you ever noticed that everyone seems busy all the time?
As couples, we're often too busy to talk about what's really going on, too busy to make time for date night, or, sometimes, even too busy to have a meaningful conversation.
As individuals, we're too busy to stay in touch with friends, too busy for hobbies (remember those?), or too busy to relax.
This harried state marks a strange inversion from previous generations. Leisure time used to be a marker of status. Now it means you have no goals, no ambition or drive.
Just imagine what would go down if you responded to someone at...